We are blessed

The last 24hours have been brutal and heartwarming. Yesterday morning we took C for her follow up appointment with her orthopedist.  Everything looked good and she removed C’s stitches. Right after we got home from the appointment C noticed that she had a hive like rash on her knuckles on both hands and bumps up the inside of her arms and on her elbows. She called the doctor who asked what meds she’s been taking: Perco.cet and Ad.vil. The doctor exclaimed that C was NOT supposed to be taking Ad.vil b/c it can weaken the ACL graft. Arg. The doc recommended Benad.ryl and perhaps taking Ty.lenol instead of Per.cocet.

During this process I went back to work last night for a night shift. A dear friend and teammate from UBS came over with her boyfriend and sat with C, they made her dinner and washed all of our dirty dishes. Angels!

Unfortunately, from the moment C stopped taking Ad.vil her pain level has been through the roof. We’re talking can’t eat, can’t sleep sit and weep kind of pain. I got home from work at 1am to find a shell of a person who slightly resembles my love crumpled and whimpering. We tried to sleep to no avail. At wits end we smothered her knee in this “herbal ice” stuff our acupuncturist gave us, she took alf alfa pills and a dose of Benad.ryl. Finally C got some sleep and some pain relief.

This morning I decided there was no way that I could go to work with C in so much pain. With the extra pain she’s lost a lot of the mobility she’d gained in the Ad.vil using days. Another dear friend, Cas, who happens to live in the building next door came over and made us a delicious vegan lunch of tabbouleh, mixed greens and homemade pinto bean spread on Ezek.iel bread. It was the kind of wholesome, good for you, feeds your spirit meal we needed. Just as Cas was getting ready to go we noticed that there was a note under our door.

We live in an apartment building in the People’s Republic of Brooklyn. Our community is super diverse and very friendly (according to the NYT our zip code is the most diverse in America). There are seven floors in our building and twelve apartment on floors two through seven. We live on the seventh floor. A neighbor who lives on the third floor* heard about C’s surgery and mentioned it to her friend on the fifth floor. That friend on the fifth floor is a licensed message therapist and has offered to work with C as often as three times per week free of charge. She would either come up to our apartment or C could go to hers. The three page hand written letter she sent us made me cry. C and I don’t have the words for what this type of help means to us right now.

We are blessed.

*It shouldn’t matter, but the neighbors on the third floor are the newest lesbian couple to move into the building. We don’t even know their names. We just say hi and chit chat when we seen them. It adds another layer of warmth for me to know that family really does take care of family.

Checking in *update*

Hey all,

I know it’s been a while. C’s surgery went well. Poor dear is in a lot of pain still and it’s been difficult. I’m doing my best to tend to her needs and be supportive. It’s difficult, especially since I oscillate between exhausted, famished and nauseated. We’ve had friends pop in to support us. Each day is better than the last.

I’ve been spotting light pink on and off since my last RE appointment. I called Dr. DWBH from our first RE practice and he said that it’s anxiety producing, but probably nothing. He said I could wait it out until July 16th when we see the OB or try to get in for another u/s with the RE who just released us. I called our (recently) former RE and he agreed. He also recommended that we go in tomorrow morning for another u/s. I have no idea how we are going to get C and her huge brace there (into Manhattan from Brooklyn), but we’ll figure it out. I think it may be worth it to drive and pay for parking.

I know my blog was tagged (thanks N!). I promise to follow up with that. Maybe next week when we aren’t in survival mode.

Edited to add:

C reminded me that the RE from our most recent fancy practice with whom I spoke is kind of a worry wart. He is the RE who called me about my non-doubling beta and had me completely fretting for an entire weekend. Yes, he’s the medical director of big fancy RE practice, but the dude is intense and looks for the pitfalls ahead. Useful for some personalities, but not mine. C thinks I should focus on calm rational people, instead of worrisome rational people. I really liked the advice that Dr. DWBH gave me, which was relax and enjoy pregnancy–even the anxiety. C and I decided that I needed to talk to some additional calm rational people to this end: C’s sister and my mom.

After talking with C’s sister and my mom I’ve decided that I do not need to go into the RE tomorrow for another u/s and instead will try to see our new OB a little earlier if possible. It is of utmost importance to C to be at every appointment and right now it’s difficult getting her from our living room to our bedroom. She just in so much pain. When we structured our appointments we knew we’d have to take a break from RE/OB appointments to deal with C’s knee. I need to accept that what will happen will happen with this pregnancy. Le sigh. C is supportive of whatever I choose and just wants me to be happy and stress free.  When will I relax and actually believe that this pregnancy will be successful? Ha!

Tomorrow I will call the new OB practice (they are closed on Mondays) and see if I can move my appointment with them up a little bit. Their office is MUCH easier for me and my gimpy love to get to. If I have any more feelings of panic I will try to call on said two calm rational again or incorporate some others who fit the profile like my sister, A or my cousin, N.

Over and out.

Oh happy day!

This morning we had the best visit to the RE’s office ever!

To start I have to tell you a bit about last night. After an exhausting yet productive trip to home depot we went to the drug store and purchased chewable multi-vitamins and folic acid to replace the prenatal that refuses to stay in my tummy. On the way home I started to cramp and then spotted a tiny bit. When I say tiny bit I mean a little pink when I wiped and then no more–not even over night or this morning. I was super upset, but C was the picture of calm and rational. I was so happy that we had a doctor’s appointment to check things out so soon.

This morning we sprung out of bed and into Manhattan. We had been in the waiting room for ten minutes when we saw our good friends Kim and Molly walk in! (They blog as soccormommies2b and were there for their 2nd IUI.) We had a spirited conversation in the waiting room. It was perfect timing because C is using the same surgeon Molly used for her ACL surgery. C had a lot of last minute questions that she was able to ask. It just feels really good to see such good friends right before an RE appt.

(Kim and Molly we are sending you super good luck vibes for this second IUI!)

We were evaluated by one of our favorite doctors who said that the Dreambeans are measuring perfectly and are the same exact size. Their hearts were fluttering and they “looked great.” I told him about the spotting and he said it was probably due to progesterone or the beans settling in. He wasn’t concerned at all. I told him about my horrible nausea and my inability to keep down any pills. He thought the chewable vitamin plus folic acid was sufficient and said that if the Metformin is causing me to be nauseous then I shouldn’t take it anymore. Schreech. What? Is this your medical opinion or your common sense opinion? His response was long and I glazed over. I heard the words liver, biochemical, first trimester, small risk, not a big deal if I can only tolerate a partial dose of Metformin. Uh okay. He also seemed to think that my morning sickness should subside by week 10. Spoken like a man who has never had to immediately scan for a garbage pale every time he walked into a room.

The next question we had was about our eagerly anticipated trip to Ireland. I haven’t blogged about it, but I’ve been fearful that a trip to Ireland while 5 months pregnant with twins is out of the question. Well, the doctor said that if things are going well that there is no reason why we can’t go! Of course, we will take things as they come but that’s what travel insurance is for, right? Hooray, we don’t have to cancel our trip to Ireland (at least not right now).

Then we asked if we had to go back next week. I was in the middle of explaining that C was having ACL surgery tomorrow and that she’s NEVER missed one RE appointment and that I’d rather not go than to go without her and the doctor interjected with”oh I was just going to tell you that you’re all done here. You should follow up with your chosen OB.” Yes! We’ve graduated! At 7 weeks 3 days our Dreambeans have accomplished their first graduation.

And then the best part is that the doctor said I CAN DISCONTINUE USING PROGESTERONE SUPPOSITORIES! No mas Evil P! Can you imagine me doing the happy dance!

See why it was the best RE’s visit ever! On the way out I could literally hear “Ease on Down” from The Wiz playing as our person soundtrack as we skipped down the street to the subway.

I actually remembered to fill out the paperwork to have my entire medical record sent to our OB and to us. Our first OB appointment is July 16th a mere 15 days away! The only doctor we’ll be visiting between now and then is an orthopedic surgeon. We can finally focus on C and her knee. Phew!

I mostly feel that this pregnancy is real. Folks, we’re having two babies!

Still chugging along

Today we are 7weeks 1day. Things are pretty much the same. Our next appointment is on Wednesday morning. I hope everything will still be on track.

I have one more task to complete at work. I hope I can get it done through my post lunch nausea and exhaustion.

Yikes, C’s surgery is this Thursday!

Phrase of the day

C has coined a new phrase. Lord only knows why.

Pregnancy nice

Pronunciation: ˈpreg-nən(t)-sē ˈnīs

Function: adjective

Definition: 1) When an expecting individual is trying to be kind and isn’t. 2) When an expecting individual is short-tempered in a situation where they would normally not be.

Synonyms: Bitchy, Irritable and Moody

Antonyms: Polite, Kind and Patient

Words of the day

First I want to thank you ladies for knowing just what to say about court officer asshole. Thank you so much for the support!

Right now things are tough. I was exhausted from yesterday and couldn’t sleep last night. Insomnia. The word’s still not cute, even when you sing it to the tune of Distu.rbia by Rhia.na. I don’t understand how I can’t get a good night’s sleep when I am dog tired!?!

My other words are nausea and vomiting (but they don’t get catchy tunes). I think that yesterday really took a toll on my body. I’ve been nauseous all day and vomiting in the evenings since Monday. Last night was the worst. I haven’t kept my full regimen of prenatals and metformin down since Sunday. I think I am going to ask the RE for a prescription for something to help. I can’t live the next six weeks (or more) like this.

Interestingly enough, I am only able to find the strength to post right now because I caved and ate exactly what I wanted for lunch. After a nutritious breakfast, for lunch I consumed: A large bottle of Y.o0hoo, a can of diet ginger ale, a grilled cheese and a handful of french fries. Can we say not even close to what I’m supposed to be eating as an insulin resistant person!  Not to mention that I haven’t had Yo.ohoo since third grade. I’m going to hope that I have an appetite for dinner. I’m thinking I should eat some lean (low mercury) fish, veggies and quinoa to get these beans something to help them grow.

With all of the above said. I am thankful that I have the Dreambeans in my belly and hope that these symptoms mean that they are doing well.

So maybe I’m a tad emotional

Today I had my most dreaded court assignment. It requires that I stand on my feet all day (9-4:30), addressing the court on and off. The courtroom is windowless and the acoustics are terrible. Usually I leave tired, annoyed and worn. For me to go to the restroom I have to wait for a natural break or for a co-worker to happen to be around to stand while I take care of mother nature.

In the last six years I’ve had this job I’ve been allowed to use the private bathroom in the back. This is because if I had to take the long walk to the public bathroom the court would have to wait for me to get back to continue–it just makes sense to keep things moving. Well today I was running to the bathroom more than usual. I don’t know if the judge said something to this particular court officer or maybe the officer was having a bad day, but at about noon he cornered me and told me that from now on I was going to have to use the public bathroom on the other side of the building. Period. My reaction was that my eyes welled up. I tried to explain that that didn’t make logistical sense and has NEVER  been the way things work. Then the officer barked, well that’s what I say and it’s starting now. I was doing my best not to let my tears spill over–who wants to cry in public at work. I then quietly explained that I was in the 1st trimester of a multiple pregnancy and that I would respectfully request that I be permitted to continue doing what every co-w0rker does in every courtroom in the building.

Well that shut him right up and changed his tune. I then explained that it was a shame that I had to reveal this very personal information and that I expected he would keep it private. He apologized and when the sergeant came over to see what was going on, we both answered “nothing” and went back to work. That court officer has promised to keep my secret and for the rest of the day he had the court take strategic breaks that allowed me to run to said private bathroom.

Sheesh.

It’s happening

Our 2 gestational sacs have grown yolk sacs and little measureable beans. One measures 6w0d and the other 6w1d, which is spot on. The most exciting part is that they have heartbeats! (The shadow of a third sac is completely gone.)

Folks we are having twins! The doctor says that at this point their is an 80% chance that we’ll be holding 2 babies in February.

Holy shit. I’m shocked. Totally shocked. I’m overwhelmed. I don’t know how we are going to do this. I don’t have a plan in place for two babies. Yikes. C can’t stop smiling. She’s super excited. I’m trying to trust in our partnership that we can do this. I wish I could process more beyond this. I can’t believe it.

Party weekend!

We’re on the road again…

C and I leave tonight for our niece’s first birthday celebration. It’s my little sister, A, and BIL’s baby, G. A has always been a party planner–her wedding was one of the most fun events I’ve ever attended. She and BIL had karaoke and guess that movie clip and their baby shower. It’s no surprise that G’s 1st birthday is going to be big big big. We’re talking 80-100ppl, rented tents, music, dancing, BBQ, catered food and lots of family. G’s actual birthday was Memorial Day weekend, but with a family wedding my sis picked tomorrow for the celebration. It’s actually a couple of days after A’s 29th birthday and the day before Father’s Day.

A and BIL live next door to my parents on the same plot of land in the Cats.kills so they have a lot of space. My darling sister invited C’s parents, siblings and their families.  The only one who can’t make it is C’s sister and BIL and their 4 year old. The party is tomorrow and it’s going to be rockin! No rain can stop this party train. It’s going to be a mix of those who know about the Dreambeans and those who don’t, so this should be interesting.

Hope everyone else is having a great weekend!

Think I found our OB

It’s a practice with two OBswho both come highly recommended. They work closely with a peri who comes highly recommended. I called to ask a few questions about potential twins, insulin resistance, gestational diabetes and perinatolgists. The receptionist was pleasant, took my questions and told me that someone would have to call me back. A half hour later one of the doctors called me to answer my questions. She was very nice, patient and I look forward to meeting her in person.

They are located in my home borough, the People’s Republic of Brooklyn. I’m a proud Brooklynite and look forward to birthing babies where the trees grow. The doctors deliver at a nice hospital in Par.k Slo.pe. The commute to the office and the hospital is easy from both of our jobs and our apartment. My first appointment is July 16th. I’m pretty content right now.