I am most surprised by the overwhelming love that comes with being a parent. Everyone tells you how much you’ll love your child, but I wasn’t able to really imagine it before Mavis got here.
I am overwhelmed with the joy that Mavis brings us. She is such a bright happy child that her mere presence is uplifting.
I am also overwhelmed by how much sadness and grief I feel over the loss of Hayden, Mavis’s twin. I think about the loss everyday. I’m still haunted by the empty space left in our lives. Sometimes when I’m delirious with exhaustion in the middle of the night when Mavis is fussing I forget we have only 1 and panic that she’ll wake an imaginary second child.
Mavis’s is both wonderful and a reminder of our greatest loss. I still cry when I sing “You Are My Sunshine” to her.
All these emotions are beyond what I expected.
